Transitions partial DVD commentary
Jan. 10th, 2016 02:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
somethingdarkerA fragment from "Transitions" requested by gemais.
"Will you really tell me everything?" Aya ran her fingers through her hair. "Really everything, I mean. I know what I heard, but...I'm not sure how often I didn't hear, and I don't know.... I didn't think to ask Schuldig and...." She shrugged.
The question of how much Aya-chan knew has always been an intriguing question. I’ve seen it addressed in a few different fics. The general consensus is that, if she had any sort of awareness, Schuldig could reach her. I think, though, that Schuldig wouldn’t do it unless either it amused him or he thought he could get something out of it.
Sakura weighed Aya's words. Mostly true except at the end. She did think about it, but either she was afraid to ask or he wouldn't answer. Probably. Crawford said I'll get better at interpreting what I sense. I am better already. "I will." I have to. "We don't have a lot of time. After we leave here, we can't, not about anything that matters." Sakura choked on laughter, her shoulders shaking. I'm missing Schuldig. I never-- How can I miss Schuldig? No. I miss his powers. I'd take any other telepath first-- Well not any other telepath, not an Estet telepath, not— She covered her face as tears started to escape her.
I thought that, if Sakura had any latent psychic powers, what Schuldig and Schwarz and Estet put her through would bring them out. My question then was what sort of power she would have. I just really liked the idea that she could read truth. It added layers and layers to how Sakura viewed things in this story. I never quite decided what Crawford’s long term plans were for Sakura and Aya-chan. He has them, definitely, but I didn’t need to know for this because Sakura doesn’t know. I thought, briefly, that this might be a set up for the Crawford/Aya-chan relationship in Rheotaxis, but Sakura’s not in Rheotaxis, and with this backstory, she would be.
Aya's hug surprised Sakura. "I'll take care of you, too. I'm older than you are, so I'm responsible."
Aya-chan has changed during the time she was in the coma. She probably didn’t change much until Schuldig stuck his oar in— I think, if she’d been entirely aware before that, she’d have lost herself, but I wanted her to have some sense of how much time had passed. I suspect that time passed weirdly while she was stuck in her head. She may well feel a lot older than she is chronologically.
Sakura found herself crying in truth. Neither of us are old enough for this. She gave herself up to the tears even as part of her mind started counting the seconds she was wasting.
Aya rubbed Sakura's back and made soothing noises.
This is the first point at which Sakura’s been able to break down in safety. I suspect that she’s cried before, but it was probably always at points when Schuldig would be amused by it. Whether that was Sakura trying to defend herself by giving Schuldig what he wanted or Schuldig trying to weaken Sakura, I don’t know. For this story, it doesn’t so much matter.
Is it wasting time if I need this? She tried not to think about how good it felt to have someone hold her without violence. Without threat. Without fear. She let herself relax a little. She doesn't feel anything like Schuldig or...any of them.
Whatever happened to Sakura while she was with Schwarz, it was traumatic. I didn’t explore it because I didn’t think Sakura was ready to look at it. Daegaer remixed this story as Transitions (The Truth like the Sun Remix) and did look at that part. I think Daegaer’s version is well worth looking at. Mine hints at a lot of things, skims over a lot of things.
"Maybe we should have that bath now?" Aya asked. "It might help."
Sakura wiped her face on her sleeve, reflecting that she never planned to wear these clothes again anyway. "A bath sounds good." The rice cooker will turn itself off. "I want to wash." Wash off Schwarz. Wash off Estet. Wash off...me. "It can be a new beginning. I'll tell you everything. We'll take care of each other." I lost my parents. Maybe I can gain a sister.
People need hope, whether it’s real or not. Sakura has the disadvantage that she can see her own lies. She may learn to lie to herself again; she may not. At this point, Sakura’s only hopes are for new things being better than the old or, at least, bearable. The old is gone, and that breaks her heart.
gemais."Will you really tell me everything?" Aya ran her fingers through her hair. "Really everything, I mean. I know what I heard, but...I'm not sure how often I didn't hear, and I don't know.... I didn't think to ask Schuldig and...." She shrugged.
The question of how much Aya-chan knew has always been an intriguing question. I’ve seen it addressed in a few different fics. The general consensus is that, if she had any sort of awareness, Schuldig could reach her. I think, though, that Schuldig wouldn’t do it unless either it amused him or he thought he could get something out of it.
Sakura weighed Aya's words. Mostly true except at the end. She did think about it, but either she was afraid to ask or he wouldn't answer. Probably. Crawford said I'll get better at interpreting what I sense. I am better already. "I will." I have to. "We don't have a lot of time. After we leave here, we can't, not about anything that matters." Sakura choked on laughter, her shoulders shaking. I'm missing Schuldig. I never-- How can I miss Schuldig? No. I miss his powers. I'd take any other telepath first-- Well not any other telepath, not an Estet telepath, not— She covered her face as tears started to escape her.
I thought that, if Sakura had any latent psychic powers, what Schuldig and Schwarz and Estet put her through would bring them out. My question then was what sort of power she would have. I just really liked the idea that she could read truth. It added layers and layers to how Sakura viewed things in this story. I never quite decided what Crawford’s long term plans were for Sakura and Aya-chan. He has them, definitely, but I didn’t need to know for this because Sakura doesn’t know. I thought, briefly, that this might be a set up for the Crawford/Aya-chan relationship in Rheotaxis, but Sakura’s not in Rheotaxis, and with this backstory, she would be.
Aya's hug surprised Sakura. "I'll take care of you, too. I'm older than you are, so I'm responsible."
Aya-chan has changed during the time she was in the coma. She probably didn’t change much until Schuldig stuck his oar in— I think, if she’d been entirely aware before that, she’d have lost herself, but I wanted her to have some sense of how much time had passed. I suspect that time passed weirdly while she was stuck in her head. She may well feel a lot older than she is chronologically.
Sakura found herself crying in truth. Neither of us are old enough for this. She gave herself up to the tears even as part of her mind started counting the seconds she was wasting.
Aya rubbed Sakura's back and made soothing noises.
This is the first point at which Sakura’s been able to break down in safety. I suspect that she’s cried before, but it was probably always at points when Schuldig would be amused by it. Whether that was Sakura trying to defend herself by giving Schuldig what he wanted or Schuldig trying to weaken Sakura, I don’t know. For this story, it doesn’t so much matter.
Is it wasting time if I need this? She tried not to think about how good it felt to have someone hold her without violence. Without threat. Without fear. She let herself relax a little. She doesn't feel anything like Schuldig or...any of them.
Whatever happened to Sakura while she was with Schwarz, it was traumatic. I didn’t explore it because I didn’t think Sakura was ready to look at it. Daegaer remixed this story as Transitions (The Truth like the Sun Remix) and did look at that part. I think Daegaer’s version is well worth looking at. Mine hints at a lot of things, skims over a lot of things.
"Maybe we should have that bath now?" Aya asked. "It might help."
Sakura wiped her face on her sleeve, reflecting that she never planned to wear these clothes again anyway. "A bath sounds good." The rice cooker will turn itself off. "I want to wash." Wash off Schwarz. Wash off Estet. Wash off...me. "It can be a new beginning. I'll tell you everything. We'll take care of each other." I lost my parents. Maybe I can gain a sister.
People need hope, whether it’s real or not. Sakura has the disadvantage that she can see her own lies. She may learn to lie to herself again; she may not. At this point, Sakura’s only hopes are for new things being better than the old or, at least, bearable. The old is gone, and that breaks her heart.
